The weak link

“But why do you want to do this don’t you realise you are just a girl you are weak” he said
“Just a girl ? ” she asked in disbelief “what is that supposed to mean ? what does me being a girl has to do with it ?”
“Are you so naive or do you make this up to upset me ?” He again howled
Listening and tolerating this unpleasant conversation over and over which wasn’t even actually a ‘coversation’ requiring two people  going through the same ordeal time and again she just withdrew herself but it wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more for her…more humiliation more suffering more loathing.
He was not content with her withdrawal and to take it a step further he hit her…where she was most vulnerable not physically but emotionally. Taking her painfully into the past making her relive all the traumatic experiences forcing her to realise what kind of an intolerable human being she was and it was he who saved her. She was repeatedly reminded of her worthlessness.
She once again tried to walk away from this dreadful scene but little did she knew he had other things planned for her.
“You are just a liability a despicable burden. You should be thankful to me for taking pity on you ” he barked
“That was all in the past please don’t crush my future on that note” she pleaded
“Future ? You will not plan your future you will not decide. Don’t forget you only get a future that I choose” he said blatantly
She surrendered…she could not bear it any longer, with her eyes flooding she quietly picked up her shattered soul and cried her heart out. She cried in the dark till she could cry no more. Then she got up hid away the pieces of her soul and watched her life carry on. What else she could do after all….she was just a girl !

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Loner in the end

In life there are many times when we are really forced to think …” why is it this way ? ” or “why me ?”, but we get no satisfactory answers for this. all we can do is sit and wonder how and why this game was played with us, how did we get tricked into the belief that we are actually not alone, there are people to be with us, support us, understand us…
Ahh !! but alas, in the end we are badly broken and led down by those whom we believe to be our own. we are greatly wounded and scarred mentally and emotionally and too with no help , no hope , no more courage.
we want to hide ourselves and believe that all is just going to be fine if we don’t face the world and it seems easier to run away from all the trouble and turmoil even though we are not cowards..its just that we are tired…tired of crying, tired of pretending that everything is all right, tired of understand problems, tired of being sorry every time, tired of begging, tired of compromising and just very very tired of being guilty…..
but we still carry on because we love them with all our heart and soul and it is more important for us to see them happy rather than seeing them depressed…

we take all the dysphoric feelings from them…filled with remorse and sometimes hurt…
So among all this chaos…we are alone…with no where to go…